Power of BLUE

Blue color is considered very good for reducing anger because this color is cooling and relaxing in nature. There are many ways to have the benefits of this color.
* Drink blue colored water. For this fill water in a blue colored bottle and keep this bottle in sun for a day. The water thus will be charged with the blue color. Drinking this water provides a cooling effect to the system.
* Inhale blue colored air. Again the procedure is to put a blue color bottle in sun. The air inside will be charged with blue color, which can be inhaled.
* Apply blue oil on forehead. For preparing this oil put oil in a blue colored bottle and place it in sun.
* Have the room walls painted with light blue color. Even curtains can be of light blue color. Have a blue colored bulb in the lamp and switch it on after making the room totally dark, whenever sitting idle, or want to relax and cool down. Have many blue colored pictures and scenery on the walls.
* Imagine and visualize blue colored scenes/objects in your mind whenever sitting idle e.g. blue sky, blue flower, blue lake.
* Wear clothes mainly of blue color, like Blue color shirts, blue color pants keeping in mind the sense of aesthetics because it is not always possible to wear everything blue.
I read it a few minutes back and couldn’t quite believe it. I have been wearing blue because I like the color a lot. If this actually works or not am not quite sure but who knows :)

Birthday Flowers

Most people have heard of Birthstones, well the following list is of Birthflowers.
JANUARY:Flower: Carnation, Snowdrop
FEBRUARY:Flower: Primrose, Violet
MARCH:Flower: Jonquil, Violet
APRIL:Flower: Daisy, Sweet Pea
MAY:Flower: Hawthorn, Lily of the Valley
JUNE:Flower: Honeysuckle, Rose
JULY:Flower: Larkspur, Water Lily
AUGUST:Flower: Gladiolus, Poppy

SEPTEMBER:Flower: Aster, Morning Glory
OCTOBER:Flower: Calendula, Cosmos
NOVEMBER:Flower: Chrysanthemum
DECEMBER:Flower: Holly, Narcissus, Poinsettia

Color therapy-Color and the Brain

Specific colors have different effects
Black: self-confidence, power, strength
Blue: calming, lowers blood pressure, decreases respiration
Green: soothing, relaxing mentally as well as physically, helps those suffering from depression, anxiety, nervousness
Violet: suppresses appetite, provides a peaceful environment, good for migraines
Pink: used in diet therapy as an appetite suppressant, relaxes muscles, relieves tension, soothing
Yellow: energizes, relieves depression, improves memory, stimulates appetite
Orange: energizes, stimulates appetite and digestive system
Red: stimulates brain wave activity, increases heart rate, respirations and blood pressure.....

Multiple Personality Disorder aka Dissociative Identity Disorder

Urmila Matondkar was diagnosed with MPD in Bhoot though the truth was something else. :)
Multiple Personality Disorder or MPD now has a new name as of 2000. It is now called DID or Dissociative Identity Disorder. One of the reasons was that the original term was being thrown into disrepute by many people giving phony demonstrations of alter switching during television talk shows.
As the former name implies, MPD/DID is a mental condition in which 2 or more personalities appear to inhabit a single body. "Dissociation is an act of disconnecting, locking the memory or pain in a 'suitcase' and storing the 'suitcase' in the back of the brain. Dissociation Identity Disorder is the phenomena of completely disconnecting oneself from a memory (or memories) and the emotions around the memory(ies), creating a separate identity to hold memories and emotions." (Arthur Zeilstra and Janet Howden).
Multiple Personality Disorder or Dissociative Identity Disorder is characterized by the following symptoms according to the handbook that Psychiatrists and Psychologists use called the DSM-IV-TR:
The presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states (each with is own relatively enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and self).
At least two of these identities or personality states recurrently take control of the person’s behavior.
An Inability to recall important personal information that is too extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness.
The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., blackouts or chaotic behavior during Alcohol Intoxication) or a general medial condition (e.g., complex partial seizures). This would not include imaginary playmates or other fantasy play.
In layman’s terms this means that in order to have Multiple Personality Disorder or DID, to use the newer title, a person will have to exhibit several separate personalities and often lose time because the person’s main personality or ego state would not be fully conscious while one of the other personalities is dominant.
A person suffering from MPD or Dissociative Identity Disorder may have only two separate personalities or 10. They might be partially aware of the other personalities or not. Often the other personalities or what is called alters have separate names and/or separate genders.
The origin or cause of MDP or Dissociative Identity Disorder is most commonly due to massive physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse when a person is very young. The abuse is so overwhelming for the individual that in order to mentally and emotionally block out the pain a person will dissociate to such an extent that they will develop a separate ego state to experience it while what we think of as the real person blocks out memory. A minority of mental health professionals accepted MPD/DID as a real phenomenon during the 1980s and early 1990s. Few continue this belief today. Most professional therapists believe that it is an iatrogenic (physician induced) disorder that either does not appear naturally, or is almost non-existent. However, belief in MPD/DID is still commonly found among conservative Christian counselors. Dissociation itself is a common experience. Most people have observed mild dissociative episodes in which they lose touch with their surroundings. Examples include daydreaming, highway hypnosis, or losing oneself in a movie or book. MPD is viewed by some as an extreme level of dissociation, "which may result in serious impairment or inability to function”.
The goal of treatment is to get the person suffering from MPD or Dissociative Identity Disorder to re-experience all their split off parts and to accept them as part of the person. Then it is important to relive the trauma and integrate it into their lives devoid of the original pain.

Language

Hello Good Morning Good Afternoon
good evening good night how are you
goodbye thank you welcome
please what is your name my name is

For all Wordsworth Lovers

The Complete Poetical Works of William Wordsworth

Listening Skills

Listening well, speaking clearly and asking the right questions—these skills are vital to your success as a communicator. The good news is that by using a few simple strategies, you can boost your own communication confidence.
Communication: a two-way flow

You send a message when you speak, write, smile, cry, fidget or sit silently. You receive a message when you hear, see or sense what the sender is sending. This may sound pretty straightforward. But the two-way flow of communication can get complicated very quickly, as the examples below illustrate.
*Your friend asks you for a loan. You hint that you don't want to lend the money, but your friend "hears" you say yes
*Someone keeps asking you out for a date. You repeatedly decline, hoping the person will eventually "get the message."
*A daughter angrily says, "Go ahead! See if I care!" to her father. She hopes he does see how much she cares. The way to avoid these ineffective communication patterns is to practice being authentic. This means explaining how you really feel and asking for what you really need.
Being "authentic"When you communicate effectively, you're direct and honest—not aggressive, not "nice"—just authentic. Believing that you have a right to feel what you feel and to ask for what you need will help you to speak authentically. The following ideas can also help you communicate effectively:

*Speak clearly and simply. Try to say what you mean. If you think you may have trouble saying something you need to say, write it out (or record it) and practice it.
*Make sure your voice matches what you want to say. Does it sound like you're joking when you want to be serious? Are you mumbling because you think it's selfish to ask for what you need?
*Be aware of your posture. It's hard to speak clearly and authentically when you're slouched over or slumped in a chair.
*Stay in touch with your body.

This is a good way to stay in touch with your feelings. Is your stomach in knots? Is your heart racing? What do these signals from your body tell you about how you're feeling? Remember to breathe and allow yourself to relax as much as you can.
*Keep your goals in mind. They'll help you stay in touch with what you need.
*Speak for yourself by using the word "I".

Using the word "you" often means you're focusing on the other person rather than yourself. The word "I" puts you in touch with your feelings. Instead of "You have no right to say that to me!" say "I get really hurt and angry when you say that to me!"
Respecting yourself and others

When you communicate authentically, you respect yourself and the other person. You make sure that the other person hears your feelings and needs, but you also listen to that person's feelings and needs too. You show respect when you:
* Choose the appropriate time and place to express your feelings and communicate your needs. For example, asking an instructor in front of the class about a mark you feel is unfair puts him or her on the spot.
* Express yourself as clearly as you can and really listen to other people when they speak
* Take responsibility for your own feelings. You don't have to put the other person down in order to express yourself.
* Ask other people how they feel about what you've shared with them. And respond to their feelings.
Listening well

Our brains work a lot faster than our mouths! People talk at the speed of about 125 words per minute, but our brains turn out ideas at a much faster rate. So our thoughts race ahead while we listen, filling in the space between the speaker's thoughts with thoughts of our own. This explains why many people have trouble listening. It's estimated that people hear only 25 per cent of what's said to them! Here are some ideas to help you become a better listener:
* Face the speaker and make as much eye contact as feels comfortable to you.
* Try not to think of listening as waiting for your turn to speak.
* Be attentive yet relaxed.

* Keep an open mind

* Listen to understand
* Try not to interrupt and impose your solutions
* Try to hear the feeling beneath what the speaker is saying. Listen to the words and try to picture what the speaker is saying.

* Wait for the speaker to pause to ask clarifying questions.

* Ask questions only to ensure understanding of something that has been said (avoiding questions that disrupt the speaker's train of thought).

* Try to feel what the speaker is feeling.

* Give the speaker regular feedback, verbal or non verbal(gestures).

* Pay attention to what isn't said -- to feelings, facial expressions, gestures, posture, and other nonverbal cues.

* Mentally screen out distractions, like background activity and noise. In addition, try not to focus on the speaker's accent or speech mannerisms to the point where they become distractions. Finally, don't be distracted by your own thoughts, feelings, or biases.

* When listening for long stretches, focus on (and remember) key words and issues.

* When dealing with difficult people, spend more time listening than speaking.

* When in doubt about whether to listen or speak, keep listening.

When you communicate authentically, you bring your whole self—your thoughts, feelings and experiences—with you. You show others that you respect yourself and them too. When you're honest and direct, people pay attention.Your voice is heard. Listening is a precious gift -- the gift of time. It helps build relationships, solve problems, ensure understanding, resolve conflicts, and improve accuracy.

The insanity test

Anger

There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that everytime he lost his temper,to hammer a nail in the back fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence! It gradualy dwindled down as he discovered it was easier to hold temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally, the day came when the boy did not lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, " You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It will not matter how many times you say "I`m sorry", the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us. Show your friends how much you care. Do not kill them with your angry outbursts. You will lament later. Imagine how many friends you have already lost because of little things. Anger is like nuclear energy. It can be lethal to you if you misuse it. All explosive things can be made to be useful by proper management. Anger is a great form of super energy. The ideal is to harness energy out of anger, which can work to eleminate the cause of your anger. Angry person is the loser always. Do not play with anger. Try from now on, to blame yourself for all your anger- Never to others, as you are the ONLY one who suffers not the third party to whom you blame"

I came across this story in a website :)

the dullest blog in the world

Communication and communication process

Communication includes both the transference and understanding of meaning. An idea, no matter how great, is useless until it is transmitted and understood by others. Research indicates that poor communication is the most frequently cited source of interpersonal conflict. Individuals spend nearly 70 percent of their waking hours communicating- writing, reading, speaking or listening. Perfect communication would exist when a thought or an idea was transmitted so that the mental picture perceived by the receiver was exactly the same as that envisioned by the sender. Although elementary in theory, perfect communication is never achieved in practice, for numerous reasons.
Communication Process :

A communication process, essentially the model consists of 7 parts or elements. They are (1)The communication source (2)encoding (3)the message (4) the channel (5) decoding (6) the receiver and (7) feedback
The communication process begins with the sender and ends with the receiver.
The sender is an individual, group, or organization who initiates the communication. This source is initially responsible for the success of the message. The sender's experiences, attitudes, knowledge, skill, perceptions, and culture influence the message. "The written words, spoken words, and nonverbal language selected are paramount in ensuring the receiver interprets the message as intended by the sender" (Burnett & Dollar, 1989). All communication begins with the sender. The source initiates a message by encoding a thought. The message is the actual physical product from the source encoding. When we speak the speech is the message. When we write the writing is the message. When we gesture the movements of our arms and the expressions on our faces are the message. The first step the sender is faced with involves the encoding process. In order to convey meaning, the sender must begin encoding, which means translating information into a message in the form of symbols that represent thoughts, ideas or concepts. This process translates the ideas or concepts into the coded message that will be communicated. The symbols can take on numerous forms such as, languages, words, or gestures. These symbols are used to encode ideas into messages that others can understand.
When encoding a message, the sender has to begin by deciding what he/she wants to transmit. This decision by the sender is based on what he/she believes about the receivers knowledge and assumptions, along with what additional information he/she wants the receiver to have. It is important for the sender to use symbols that are familiar to the intended receiver. A good way for the sender to improve encoding their message, is to mentally visualize the communication from the receiver's point of view.
The channel is the medium through which the message travels. It is selected by the source, who must determine whether to use a formal or informal channel. Formal channels are established by the Organizations and transmit messages that are related to the professional activities of the members. They traditionally follow the authority chain within the Organisation. Other forms of messages such as personal or social follow the informal channels. Most channels are either oral or written, but currently visual channels are becoming more common as technology expands. Common channels include the telephone and a variety of written forms such as memos, letters, and reports. The effectiveness of the various channels fluctuates depending on the characteristics of the communication. For example, when immediate feedback is necessary, oral communication channels are more effective because any uncertainties can be cleared up on the spot. In a situation where the message must be delivered to more than a small group of people, written channels are often more effective. Although in many cases, both oral and written channels should be used because one supplements the other. If a sender relays a message through an inappropriate channel, its message may not reach the right receivers. That is why senders need to keep in mind that selecting the appropriate channel will greatly assist in the effectiveness of the receiver's understanding. The sender's decision to utilize either an oral or a written channel for communicating a message is influenced by several factors. Urgency of the message, need of feedback, if a permanent record of the message is needed or not, the nature of the message (private, controversial), the relationship with the sender, communication skills of the receiver (oral or written) determine the channel to be used by the sender. After the appropriate channel or channels are selected, the message enters the decoding stage of the communication process. Decoding is conducted by the receiver. Once the message is received and examined, the stimulus is sent to the brain for interpreting, in order to assign some type of meaning to it. The receiver begins to interpret the symbols sent by the sender, translating the message to their own set of experiences in order to make the symbols meaningful. Successful communication takes place when the receiver correctly interprets the sender's message. The receiver is the individual or individuals to whom the message is directed. The extent to which this person comprehends the message will depend on a number of factors, which include the following: how much the individual or individuals know about the topic, their receptivity to the message, and the relationship and trust that exists between sender and receiver. All interpretations by the receiver are influenced by their experiences, attitudes, knowledge, skills, perceptions, and culture. It is similar to the sender's relationship with encoding.
Feedback is the final link in the chain of the communication process. After receiving a message, the receiver responds in some way and signals that response to the sender. The signal may take the form of a spoken comment, gesture, a written message, a smile, or some other action. "Even a lack of response, is in a sense, a form of response" (Bovee & Thill, 1992). Without feedback, the sender cannot confirm that the receiver has interpreted the message correctly.
Feedback allows the sender to evaluate the effectiveness of the message. It ultimately provides an opportunity for the sender to take corrective action to clarify a misunderstood message. "Feedback plays an important role by indicating significant communication barriers: differences in background, different interpretations of words, and differing emotional reactions" (Bovee & Thill, 1992).

The communication process is the perfect guide toward achieving effective communication. When followed properly, the process can usually assure that the sender's message will be understood by the receiver. No communication is valid unless the intended meaning is properly understood by the receiver.

BLESS ME

God, bless me
Show me no misery,no pains,
no darkness.
Give me no excess,
that i cry for my losses.
Spare me no experience,
that i suffer for my ignorance.
Lend me no pride,
that i build around me fences.
Teach me just one thing,that is,
to have patience.
For,God,I know,
it is the key to peace,sanctity
and deliverance.